did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
