That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
