She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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