Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
