If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
