I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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