Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
