those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
