eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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