I CAN MOONWALK!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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