then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it because I queefed?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
as a side note pls kill me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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