If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
