I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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