like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
