Someone shit on the floor
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
