You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
