I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
