well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
