you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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