What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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