I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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