Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize