He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
