i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
