Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
