if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
