but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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