Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
