we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
