"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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