Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
