And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
