If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
