I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she looked like the before picture.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
