i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
