If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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