I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
