you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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