You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize