Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Come on in and take your pants off
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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