I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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