so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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