We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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