it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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