she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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