...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
