Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
