The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
