Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
