Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
