I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
