she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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