My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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