she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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