we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
