I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'd cum for enchiladas.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
