I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can you bring me the toilet please
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
