Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize