I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
