If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's never too late to be topless.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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