Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
