...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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