Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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