Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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