I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
