giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
