Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
